Monday, February 11, 2008

I want to be different

Everybody cherishes their school and college days and i am no exception. But my life at school was battle to differ from other fellow students and its still on. Only fellow students have been replaced by the world. I have done lot of things to be different and to be in lime light. It’s a quest worth mentioning here.

I joined KV 1 Hubli, in 6th standard. Earlier was in bellary KV. My name is good enough to qualify for a tongue twister and none were able to pronounce it correctly. That was my first step to be different ( well not exactly my own doing ). I always felt happy seeing people suffer pronouncing my name. But it was short lived. My class teacher renamed me Raama and it was the end of my first attempt at being different. Later i realised it was good to have a short and sweet name to avoid people creating their own versions of your name and embarassing you.

I was fortunate enough to be one of Lords of Last Bench whole of my school and college life. But again i was different and odd man in the group. While all the Last bench Lords suffered after-exam and result-time syndrome i was immune. I was not the most brilliant student but i was not poor either. I was above average.

The actual quest for being in limelight started in 8th standard. Every Wednesday we had PT in the first period. I wanted to be the first guy in the line. I tried my best to be jeetendra but failed. I gave up and every wednesday i became part of the group that handled drums. It was a tough competition but i managed. I liked the idea of whole school performing to my beats. I had the power and control to change the course of PT or so i thought. It was a great feeling. Later it became routine and i was more interested in sitting under tree shade rather than perform under the sun. So the plan was simple. Me and my group developed fever every Wednesday.

I also had the chance to lead school prayers. I enjoyed it a lot. "Savdhan" and "Vishram" were two command often useds along with others but again i felt a high whenever whole school performed at my commands. One bad day already whole school was in vishram state i uttered vishram and girls started giggling. That was it. I never again wanted to face the whole school in prayers. But again going back to stand in line for prayers was out of question. I made my way into prayer group. Spent another few months standing behind the people who had best voice in school and could sing. I was neither of them but a bit of influence works.

When that became boring and routine i joined Technical team. Handling mikes and other equipments. Once again the bad luck sought me out and all the equipments went dead. Reason. I had messed up cables. I was back leading prayers. But not for long. One of my friend wanted to lead and i was more than happy to let him.

One fine day, my house master came to me and said i will have to conduct quiz that day as the chosen person did not turn out. I thought i had another opportunity to be in lime light. I accepted and regret it till today. It was terrible mistake on my part. Quiz was scientific and there waslot of scientific jargon. Instead of pronouncing i started spelling them. Two questions and quiz was cancelled by principal. Didn’t go on stage for another two weeks.

Well eventually i achieved what i wanted. I was part of a English drama "The cobbler" for annual day (it was by chance ), participated in singing competition ( that’s what I thought but my good friends told me it sounded more of a elocution ), represented school in zonal athletics (never mind that our group didnt go to field at all), did gymnastics for sports day ( i was one of the stronger guys in school ), Played cricket, kabbadi and kho-kho for my house ( my house never made it to finals in any of these ) , contributed to school magazine ( poem on moon ) and a lot.

I may not have always been in limelight and been important. I might have failed terribly or might have succeeded. But what mattered was I never gave up creating a different identity. People recognized me. People knew RAM. That’s what matters.

I am still working towards that small goal of mine. I want to be different. I want to create my own identity.

Life gives you bricks. Its you who has to decide what you want to do with them. Build wall around yourselves or build bridges for others to pass by.

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