Monday, June 30, 2008

Reality Check!


There are so many reality shows on TV and irony is that they are exactly opposite to what they are called. I see a conspiracy by media and production houses to send bollywood out of business through their reality shows. The so called tension and excitment created by the anchors before declaring "who is out , who is in" deserves an oscar. Even the anchors put up such a "great performance" that i would do away giving them few oscars if i could.


Speaking of anchors, we should be greateful that some unemployment has been eradicated. Atleast among bollywood rejects. Have you watched laughter challenge 4. Yes the same show which, an ex-cricketer beleives is a laughter club. For those who have not yet got who i am talking about, heres another clue. He is a sardar and a living answer for the question "why so many sardar jokes?". If you still have failed to identify, then probably you wear a turban. Its the one and only "sixer siddhu". Rumour has it that all over the country laughter clubs provide the clipping of siddhu in one of those "Wah Cha gaye guru!" moments to their new joinees. Just to show them how to laugh with out provocation. Infact siddhu has been declared their universal inspiration.

Comming back to anchors. Anybody remember shehnaaz? Yeah the same one movie wonder apposite shahid. Poor girl. Not only the movie bombed, she lost her "rozi roti" from MTV. Her career and her attire in the movie had a similarity. Shorter than short. Nowdays she is anchoring in laughter challenge show. It seems she is still on hangover from her MTV days. Often she forgets shez on laughter show and behaves as if she is still entertaining the MTV bhakts.
There are many reality shows dedicated to singing and dancing. After seeing raveena as a judge in one such show, i was tempted to appear for one of the dancing reality shows audition. No. I am not a die hard raveena fan. "Then why were you tempted?" you may ask. Not her beauty sir. If she can be a judge on a singing reality show with such a crisp ( yes kurkure crisp ) voice, i sure can make it big with my 4 left feet.


Channel V has a silly show they call "get gorgeous". I am not sure if the participants get gorgeous, but from what i see, they do get bitchy, skinny and easy recruits for "vamp" roles in Ekta kapoor S(igh)erial. They constantly are expressing their opinions on each others assets. Well dont mistake it for the kind of assets your banker talks about.

Another reality show from MTV is called splitsville. It is supposed to be dating show. But the old guys can call it new age matrimonial service. 16 girls and 2 guys. I hear gabbar saying "Yeh tho Bahut na-insafi hai!!". And the social welfare department of India says sex ratio is skewed!!!. BTW ever wondered about the definiton of "sex ratio" not being what it should be? Hmm. I Know. The right defination if given would qualify to be adult content

MTV Roadies is another famous rality show. Here your toughness depends on number of abuses you can bear gleefully and almost every expeletive either starts with "f" or ends with "k". Think over it. Its a well reaserched strategy to recruit the roadies. Afterall you would requrie all these expletives when you are on indian roads. What did you say? Do roadies ever use their bikes? Hell Yes. Just for few kilometers every week. Rest of the time is spent plotting others elimination.

Recently shinjini sen gupta was in news for getting into severe depression after judges passed comments and eliminated her. Poor girl. She took judges comments seriously. If only she knew judges are normally people out of work and wasting their time at reality shows rather than cooking and gardening at their homes.


On a serious note , lets face it.Every single person is a participant in the reality show called life. Every person is trying to impress and gain points. Every person wants to proceed to next round. They can plot and bring downfall of others for this. But unlike the judges on reality shows, here life is a judge as well as a mentor. You never know when you will be eliminated from the show. So play hard and play fair. For if nothing else, you rarely have come back episode.

PS: Driving on hosur road today, i realised the effect of traffic jams. People driving either become suicidal or become voilent psychos. Being an optimist i am thinking of buying a bouble barrel shot gun. Next time that biker zig zags....