Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Love or Life?

Love or Life?

A friend of mine asked me - "Love or Life?". Well, actually the answer depends on the person who is raising this question. Often, this question is asked by people who have been "victims" of cupids evil play. These people are either waiting for someone to accept their love for long or have chosen to just live in the state of denial. Often the obsession with their love interest takes the form of aggressive and violent behavior. Some resort to abusing, threatening and various other means to cause hurt.

By doing this they fail to understand that it only leads to rejection and nothing more. They think that the other person deserves same hurt that they have gone through. They blame the other person for their unhappiness. They even go to the extent of ruining the life of someone they believe they love.

Yes. They just "believe" they are in love. They are not. Love can only make you happy and compassionate. Love can never ever make you harm somebody. Not at all the one you claim to love. Its not love. Its just obsession.

Love is when you feel happy about the person you love. Love is when you understand and give freedom to your loved one to have his/her decision. Love is when you respect other persons feelings and oblige. Just because the other person does not reciprocate your love, you cant blame him/her. If you are not happy, its because you chose to be unhappy. Life becomes more beautiful if you can accept each person has his/her own likings and they cannot always comply with yours. You can only love a person. You cant force a person to love you. And that is what exactly most people do.

You don’t cause harm or hurt to a person you love no matter how much pain you have to go through. If you do that, then its not love but only a selfish obsession.

People fail to see this simple truth. They get so obsessed with the idea of being rejected that they want to take revenge. How can anybody take revenge on someone they claim to love? Does the pain of your loved one make you happy? No. It can never.

Youth often ignore this very basic fact. They start plotting downfall of someone they loved. They deny their rejection. They get aggressive. They cause much mental trauma to the one who has chosen not to be loved by them. Its quite strange. By doing all this they think they can "win" over the other person. No sir. It only makes them hate you. Not even pity you. But these people unknowingly satisfy their ego with this hate.

Most importantly don’t forget that Love is just part of Life. Move on with your life. Don’t be stuck in the past. If the other person has chosen not to be loved by you, accept it. May be you have better things to come in your life. By being in past you only ignore the great moments that are coming by.

Often when in love people claim that they cant live without their loved one. Well fine. But when the other person has chose to move one without you, its the test of your strength. Lead life normally with out that person and show him/her that they did not deserve your life. That’s the way to be.

By constantly wasting your time in thinking about the gone one, by trying to plot to make him/her come back, by thinking of ways to cause hurt and pain all you achieve is your own downfall. You miss your life. You become a loser. You lose not only the person you loved, but also everything and everybody else. Your past starts ruining your present and future.

Please guys, learn to accept the truth. No one lives for anybody nor dies for anybody. If they do, it’s only when the other person deserves it. And the one who has rejected you really does not deserve your life nor your death. It won’t matter if you are happy or unhappy. You are not part of their life. Then where is the need for you to ruin your life for them? Don’t make someone your goal of life when they have forgotten that you had ever existed.

I say it again. Love is just part of Life.

Hope i have answered the question "Love or Life?".

Hope and Faith

It has been almost a year that i have posted anything. Well, life has taken many turns during this period. Life as usual, being the greatest teacher of all, has again given me few lessons. Will soon share my experiences. Pardon me if you find my this post bit rusty. Blame it on my long absence from this activity. "Hope" you will enjoy this post.

Hope and faith are two of very important things that keeps us moving. Here, when i talk about faith, its not just religious faith. We exhibit faith and hope in almost all the actions we perform. When you sleep in the night, most of the times you plan for next day. Everyone has a set plan of action. For tomorrow, for next month, for next year. Why do we plan? Yes, there are many reasons. I am not intrested here in the reasons for planning, but what makes us plan. Its the hope that we will be able to perform those actions. We hope to acheive something. This we do, very well knowing, that future is unpredictable and very much unknown. Hope is involved here. Hope for better future. Hope for better moments. You can only hope. You can not garuntee. Sounds very gloomy situation? Not really.

You must be aware of this proverb : "Faith can move mountains". What is this faith? What is the strength it posses? Faith is beleif. Beleif in something or someone. Faith is also very integral to our day to day life actions. When you purchase something from a vendor, you have certain amount of faith. When your doctor prescribes you medicine, you have certain faith in him. He might have lengthy degrees next to his name and you can argue that shows you know he is good doctor. Where is the question of faith here? Well, having degrees can not garuntee you the best doctor. What is the garuntee that he is giving you the right medicines? But that does not mean you can question each and everything in your life. We take some things for granted. But thats not to be taken as garuntee from the other party. Based on his degrees , we take for granted that he is right. Unfortunately there have been cases of wrong diagnosis. That just shows how things that can pass as granted, can go wrong and there is always the possibility of things going wrong.

Being an optimist, i see hope in everything and every where. This keeps me moving. Hope nuetralizes the various side effects of a bad situation. Hope that things will be better tomorrow. Just hoping wont work. Hope, but at the same time strive. You cant sit in your bedroom and hope to find salary in your account at the end of month. You will have to work. Take necessary and needed actions, and then hope. Hoping for something without striving is called foolish and unreasonable faith.

Show faith in all. Most importantly in yourself. We have not realized the strength we posses. Somewhere deep inside lies the great strength to overcome every difficult situation. Have faith. When the time comes, you will be able to face it. Make faith your tool to realize the unknown strength in you. Faith is often associated with confidence. Confidence is when you know you will do it. Faith is you feel you will be able to do it.

I am one of those who advocate simple life. Rather i should say, life with out complexities. Keep things in life simple and never complicate anything. How do we make things simple is upto us. There is no extra effort needed to stay away from unwanted complexities of life. Just gaurd your actions and reactions. Gaurd your thoughts. Gaurd your speech. Gaurd your feelings. Read the situations. And lo, you have a simple and sweet life.

Thats for now.