Sunday, February 10, 2008

"I feel like killing myself.. i am so upset..."

"I feel like killing myself.. i am so upset..." One of my friend declared. "I know lot of ways to commit suicide. Want me to help you with few ideas?" I asked him. He was surprised.

Well guys then what did he expect me to do. He wants to kill himself and i wanted to help him. I know you have started thinking i am emotionally as cold as the ice on top of Everest. But frankly speaking i cant stand a pessimist and hate pessimism.

Agreed the guy is going through lot of troubles ( failed relationship, unhealthy working atmoshpere, small company and smaller pay etc ) but when a person is in mid twenties and talks about suicide, he/she is a loser. 20+ years of life is not something that you can ignore so easily. Ever since we are born we are entangled in never ending expectations. Parents,Sibling,Friends,relatives and society at large expect something from you. Few we are able to achieve. But then we fail at many.

After 20+ years of living, if we fail to learn that failures are part of life, then we don’t deserve to live further. Life is all about moving on. How many times have we come across great thinkers and speakers talking about this and still forget this basic rule of life. Another mistake most of us do is to live in past. Well, if you could only change the past, then there would not be any meaning to life. Your past is the foundation for your present. You are what you are because of your past. Keep crying about your failures and become a loser. Accept the past, smile at it, and build the future.

Everyone of us is chasing dreams and ambitions. Sometimes we have to let few dreams crumble. But the shattered dreams should never shatter your strength. It should in fact increase your determination to chase few more. I know people who work for years to achieve something and when they dont they get depressed and talk non sense. I dont understand why should we get depressed after struggling for such a long time. Be hapy you had enough strength and determination to pursue. How many around you even dare to dream.

Confidence and optimism is what makes life worth living and its challenges worth accepting. Hope and faith go hand in hand. They are cousins. Never abandon hope and faith. Faith can move mountains. I am not sure as i have not tried it. But faith can certainly help you cope with lot of things in life. Faith increases your optimism and optimism in turn enhances your attitude.

Ok. "Nice talk. But be practical." I can read your minds. Being practical in life doesn’t mean lose hopes. Being practical doesn’t mean you stop thinking positive. And being practical certainly doesn’t mean you can end your life by killing yourself when faced with troubles. I had read long back that god gives us troubles if he believes we have enough strength to face them. When he trusts you, why cant you trust your own strength. This has made me accept troubles with smile because i know when i come out of them i will be rewarded with more strength and more optimism.

Everybody who knows me, certainly knows the kind of situations i have been through. If not all, every one of you is aware of one or the other troublesome period of my life. Everybody has a black phase as we call it in thier phase. For some it may be short, for some it may be long. After lot of inner debate and innumerable pegs and white sticks i have framed few rules for myself. And these have kept me from getting admitted in NIMHANS. I would like to share them as a friend. May be you will find some sense in them and who knows when you may need it.

1. Life is to Move on. Make your past foundation for your future.
2. Be Positive (Not HIV positive) and have faith.
3. Time is a great healer. Given time all things get even. (Not your credits BTW).
4. Flirt with life.
5. Accept that life will not be same tomorrow. If will change.

And most importantly live. Don’t just waste the time talking about past, regretting failures, planning future. Live the moment.

Finally a small story about a pastor who live in North America. When people visited him for guidance about the troubles or tough times they were going through, he would hand him over two white sheets. In one he would ask them to list top 5 things troubling him and in another top 5 things that were fine and he was contended with. Then he would take the one where troubles were listed and drop it in a small box above the altar. The other paper would be handed over back to the person and asked him to safe guard it. “Your troubles will be taken care by almighty. You take care and just enjoy the good things. Leave bad things for him to sort out.” He would say at the end of the meeting. The meaning is simple. When you are faced with bad times, think about good times. All your troubles will be taken care by god. Just have patience and trust in your destiny.