Sometimes i wonder why nothing is constant. As a rule of nature, change is the only constant. Feelings and emotions are also very much governed by this rule. With time they either get stronger or weaker. Failing to cope with changes leads to disaster.
Lot of people complain about being not satisfied with their relationships. I am not talking about just affair but relationships in general. Blame it on media who have reduced the meaning of relationship to just affair. Coming back to the point, everybody seems to be having trouble with one or the other relationship. Intensity of the relationship depends on only two things. Trust and Expectations. Being honest and comfortable to express our views are extended attributes of trust.
People often say "i trust u" with out actually meaning it. Practically speaking we dont trust anybody blindly. As the time passes we either increase the trust or decrease it based on our experiences with that person. But the question is what are the parameters to judge the amount of trust we have. I dont have the answer for it.
"Expectations are the cause of unhappiness". This is one of my fav quotes. This quote fits well with relationships. Nothing wrong in having expectations. But keep them reasonable. Every individual has his own set of principles and distinctive behavior. Expecting them to be identical to your own would be foolish. Another mistake we often do is taking people and things for granted. When we take people for granted we ignore the circumstances. This always leads to ugly scenes during low times in the relationship.
To handle relationships effectively, understanding and handling of our emotions in a matured way, is the key. We often place stress on relationships by imposing conditions. "If you want to be my friend you will have to stop talking to him..." "I wont talk to you if you keeping doing that..." bla bla bla. Childish talks. I hate it when people use that "If". Will you change for me? Why do you want to change me? what if you demand more conditions after i change?. I know i know. This is leading to all that "sacrifice" stuff. Other word i hate to hear.
A true relationship never has conditions. It should never be one - many. It should always be one - one. Keep expectations low and dont frown if your expectations are not met. Dont take anything for granted. Life itself is so uncertain. Be honest and frank. It will save lot of guilt and hurt.
3 comments:
To add my thoughts: As always priority given to a person should and will change but all that matters is 'rapport'!. Time and place does not matter to true relationship i.e People may meet after many years or they may stay far the distance ultimately what matters is the feeling of 'You are there for me and I am there for you'. Give people the space they want and the relationships will workout automatically.
As always a good rumbling by you!
Good one! Looks like you have had a chance to dwelve into the deeper seas. Otherwise experiences dont just come out as mere words.
Well i liked the aspect of defining expecations especially when people have trouble defining "Relationship" itself.. glad to see you are a step ahead.
Hi GR, thanks for the comments. Fortunately i have been through enough experiences to have started to appreciate and stand in awe of life and its colors. Everytime i think about it i feel it has lot more to offer. I beleive our life is our teacher. To make your present and future worthwhile understanding and learning from past is important.
By your comments and few posts in your blog i understand you are also one of those who has been overawed by charm of life and its various manifestations. :)
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