Niyat and Niyati

"There is a difference between Niyat and Niyati. Listen to this." Said my friend and went on to narrate a story. It goes like this:

Once a rich man was travelling in a bus. Bus suddenly stopped with a jerk and few dacoits entered inside weilding sharp knives and lathis. This rich man hid his money some where( i forgot where. Need to ask her again ). After the dacoits collected all the money and jewellery from the helpless passengers, they started to get down. Meanwhile the leader of the dacoit gang asked "Is any money still left with anybody?" This rich man raised his hand. (Not to mention got looted)


I have been thinking about this story. If you remove the rich man and place a sardar or a bihari or a blond this will be a good joke. But sir this is not a joke. This was never intended to be a joke about some guy who is making fool of himself. This story has something very important hidden. (I am impressed by the way she told me the story. Anybody else would have turned this into a joke and all the meaning would have been lost. )

The context in which this story was narrated is different. Its a story worth another blog. Was the man in question here really fool? When he raised his hand , wasnt he just being frank? Was not he talking truth? He was.

As my friend put it, He had niyat but was lacking in niyati. Niyati as i understood is knowing when to speak truth. Niyati is knowing when to stop being Mr. Nice or do-gooder. Eventhough i will not raise my hands like that poor guy, i am one of those guys who suffer from very little presence of niyati.

After lot of thought i have realised i need to increase the content of niyati. Have been trusting people and being frank for long now. Though suffered a lot due to that i never stopped trusting people. Infact most people start a realtionship with distrust and then search for reasons to trust. I am very much contrary to that.

But if we start not trusting anybody untill proven isnt it not like guilty untill proven not. Thats not fair. At the same time prevention is better than cure.There is something else that makes me uncomfortable. Isnt having loads of niyati being opportunistic. Its like saying "Boss if i can gain from helping you i will". Most often we help others only because it we expect something back. I am a firm beleiver in Law of Karma. I try to convince myself that i am not opportunistic. But when i help someone i truly beleive some day , some where, this will come back to me. So i am also opportunistic. May be less may be more.

Now that disturbs me. I am confused like hell. Another unsolved question for me.

Singles V/s Sarcastic Society

"What are your plans for v-day?" "So what did you do on v-day?". These are the questions that most singles dread in the month of Feb. It’s not only the questions but also the way they are asked. Singles are made to feel they are leading a pathetic life. They make you feel you as if you are the most degraded species in the universe. Given a chance most singles would like to get invisible during Feb.

Normally when asked what i did on v-day i have a ready made answer.

"I couldnot celebrate as my ex eloped with my current gf". And i get delighted watching the confused expression on morons and shock on anybody who has a brain about the size of proton. If you have not understood what i mean by last line then you deserve to be single.

Being single is taken as a sign that you are worthless in the society. Ok. Agreed. I might be exaggerating things here but lot of people have misconceptions about singles.

"Your weekends must be quite boring."
" ...anyways you dont have anything to do on holidays.."

These are just the few comments that we hear quite often. And more often than not these words come in two different undertones. One of pity and the other sarcastic. One of my friend got so annoyed with this that he decided to stage a revolt. He collected all the singles he could find and went on to create a all singles club. One of the first rules of the club was

"we shall treat our fellow members of the club as our brothers and sisters"

No surprise then that club has just one member.


Its high time all the singles get united and lodge a PIL. No pub or restaurant should any more have "only couples" board. Its like "indians and dogs not allowed" tags of british. By the way no dog is ever single.

Lots of singles club fail for just one reason. Ek haddi hazar kutte. A single female is enough to bring down the singles club. And we can not even have all male singles club. Chances are those gay clubs in brazil will take over the club.

Damn it. We cant even form a club. Singles are really the most discriminated.

"Oh! you are single..." They say as if being single means you are walking example of mixing Cancer,TB,Aids,polio and god knows what disease.

Let me assure you that being single is not a sin. Its the sane decision and perfect one. That is until you find someone and then you can also use those sarcastic remarks against your unfortunate still single friends.

Being single saves you from so many troubles. You wont have to worry about your bike being taken away from those bank guys. Nor will you have to keep on changing your address for every new credit card.

Being single gives you the freedom to flirt with hell lot of girls. And also no need to switch off your cell when you and your friends plan for a all night boozing party secretly. You dont have to worry about being treated as a driver.

No more " Honey can you drop me to office today...". You are at peace with yourself when you are single. When you are with your GF you are at peace with her smile and at war with her shopping list.

Okay. All the good things about being single. Dont worry about people passing comments about you (you know they are right). They are just jealous about your golden days. Ignore them.

No matter how upset you are with being a single take consolation in believing you are lucky. Dont worry about facts.

And pray next time when i write about v-day i am on the other side of being single.


NOTE: I am dedicating this blog to a very good friend of mine who, in her own words, "instigated" me to write this blog.

Saare Zameen Par

There has been lot of talk going around about Tare Zameen Par. No not about the brilliant performance by various actors nor the script. Its about how it had made people moist eyed. Few days back i heard in Radio City that according to a survey 7 out of 10 people had their eyes wet watching Tare Zameen Par. Fortunately i am one of the three left. I have always beleived people doing survey were aliens. They throw up statistics and results on some absurd calculations.

Well i will expose their modus operandi some time again. Staying with Tare Zameen Par, rumour has it that Ekta Kapoor is planning to sue Amir Khan for making people cry. She beleives that she is the only one who has the right to do it and i sincerely support her. I actually dont support or spread rumours. Its just that sometimes i create them.

I am fed up of people asking me if i watched Tare Zameen Par and then that dreaded question that follows.

"Didnt you feel like crying? I almost broke down." and then the super emotional species stares at me, expecting me to answer in agreement. For him its obvious. For me its ridiculous. I get confused in that situation. I dont want to be seen as un-emotional stone hearted cruel guy nor do i want to lie.

"While watching i did not. But now whenever some one asks my eyes get moist." I answer diplomatically. The emotional fan is happy and walks off thinking i realised the emotional quotient in the movie late. I succeed.

Crying has become a national obsession and easy way to show you care. Mr Advani would not have got as much publicity riding on the rath, as accepting he cried during a premeier. And again the source is Tare Zameen Par. People shed tears for a brief moment and then forget.

All these people who talk about emotional appeal of the movie are missing something. I wonder why dont they show same feelings when encountered with similar cases in real world. Because in reel world they can shet two tears and forget but they seem to be too busy in real world.

I have seen so many people wasting food. The same people who take pride in being counted among the 7 tear-shedding-emotional-responsible citizens. When they waste food , dont they remember the skinny child begging at the signal? When a person in his prime age, almost near to death is lying on the road, the same people pass him with out a second look. All of these people talk about how child labour is affecting the country and are happy to yell " Chote do chai la...". No i dont mean you go out and raise the banners. No need for you to go an dharna and morch sprees. But just spare a moment and try to change your lifestyle so as to do wotever you can. Or do you need Mr Khan to direct a movie for that? Well even then i suppose most of us will just shed a tear, show our emotional side and forget. We are so perfect with that.

Mixacious!!!

According to scientists there are only two states of mind. Conscious and Subconscious. But scientists have over the centuries failed to recognize the third state which is in existence since the days we fought for fruits on the trees. It has not been given a official scientific name but i like to call it Mixacious. This is the state of your mind when you have two pegs down your throat. Everything in this state of mind ( and body ) is extreme. You are either totally at peace with yourself or Angry about even the hair on your elbow. You are either totally frustrated or so hopeful that you bet your A__ on Bermuda winning against Australia.


There is one important factor in this sate which i suppose is more common. Its logical thinking. Well i am not sure if a person can really "think" in Mixacious state though. Once i overheard a conversation which went like this

A : Why are you suddenly so angry?

B (Who was listening to Radio city 91.1 Fm.) : These radio city people are illogical and utter nonsense.

A : What happened?

B (Downing his 7th Peg) : They say "Wake up with Vasanthi. Every morning..."

A : So. What’s wrong with it?

B : How will i wake up with Vasanthi when i sleep with my wife????


My sympathies with the poor fellow. Then there are people who get into never ending stories about their ex from the first peg till they pass out. I had one such experience with a guy who was heart broken recently. "You know what she did? She is such a Bi..." He would follow up this line with a silly story. At the end of it all he never told me what she did. Later another guy told me it had something to do with Raksha Bandhan.


People who use the four letter word in every sentence are also quite common. I am not talking about Shit. And if these people are with the kind who think logically then. Sample this.

A : My TL is F____g Smart. i tell you..

B (surprised) To C : It never occured to me you have to be smart to F___!

A : I have never seen such a big A__ ___e in my life... really..

B to C : How many A__ ___es has he seen you suppose?

c : I doubt if he has seen his own.

B : You mean you have seen your own???

C : F___ You!!

B : Wots wrong with you guys. Never mind. Pass me vodka...


"I am really in love this time. This is true love". Standard declaration by a kid who has found his ideal girl for the n'th time. "Enjoy guys. Bill is on me." He celebrates. Two weeks later you will find him at the same table with the same friends. And of course bill is again on him. But only this time its the mourning of his failed love.

Sometimes overcome by the emotions these kids try to contact their love interests. Some send SMS. Some try to call. Most often, friends just enjoy their drinks not bothering much. Once a guy sent a SMS to his love interest at 1 AM, which read like this

"i love u very much. you did not accept me. but still i love u so much. i am hurt. don’t know what to do. Going mad. cant leave with out you. love you. please. please. Aceept me"

And the reply from the girl was simple

"thanks for letting me know you even booze. One more reason why i cant accept you."

And going by the traditions the guy was back at his table next day evening.


Mixacious is the state when you let out your deepest fears. Talk about most memorable moments. Some of the most memorable moments are on the table (not literally). Being mixacious brings out a new person altogether. Its when you try to escape from the real and cruel world. You own the world. You make new promises. Never mind past promises are forgotten. You set new goals. Next morning you forget what was the goal about. You talk to your ex. Then get surprised by her current BFs call in the morning. You owe to kill your friend. Next morning you find yourself comfortably sleeping on his sofa. You talk about your new found love. "was it priya or preeti i was talking about?" You are not sure when your friends ask at breakfast.

List is endless. And so are the human emotions and his/her ways to escape the real world.

Its Money Honey!

Just mention "Money" and you can already see eyebrows raised. There is nothing more sweeter than the words Money,Wealth,Assests etc to hear. And in current social scenario only thing that matters is CTC. No matter what your profession is, we dont care. Just tell me your CTC and i will tell you what your life is. Anybody who says he/she is just working for job satisfaction and all those ideologies, is most welcome to visit alice in wonderland. Ok. Agreed. you work for job satisfaction. Fine. Why dont you give half of your CTC to some orphanage. Say yes and i will be at your doorstep with donor receipt.


I might have started with exaggarating things. To make it more clear let me put forth my observations. I assume there are 3 stages in every professionals life.

1. Get a job first. ( Thats the hardest thing.) When you get one dont worry about CTC. Aftertall once you gain experience you can always take that cute, innocent , bubbly girl out for dinner. Anyways till you get a good CTC you can just dream about it. Slog it out for your seniors.

2. Its play time now. The game is called hop and shop. You just go on a hopping spree from one company to another and meantime shopping and getting all those basic things in life. Whoever said a 4 wheeler is not basic need must have slept in stone age and woken up today morning.

3. You are tired now. So just relax and concentrate on your excel sheets. There are many poor chaps working under you. Pick up few targets and display your political side. Oh sorry. The money part. Just live your life on divedends of MF,ULIPS, Bonus and your salary. Dont try to manage them. You yourself would never know where your investments are and what is your wealth.

Anybody who has succeded in all three phases is lucky but the one who fails has failed to acheive what he had set out in the first place and uses job satisfaction, loyalty as excuses.

I have experienced it. I had never valued money and unfortunately it didnt me either. So its give and take. Value your money and it will give you value. The other day i was in a dilema weather to go for technology or CTC. Technology will change daily. So sticking to technology is like holding sand in your palm. It slips on but you need to fill it everytime. Whats wrong if i can get the CTC today , which i may or may not get staying with the technology after one year.

No no. I am not being money minded. I am just passing through the second phase. Fine topic has changed and i admit i have started to justify myself.


Few days back i had a breif conversation with a guy who had joined IBM 2 years back with a fake experience of another 2 years. So now his official experiene was 2 years. When i asked him if i he didnot feel guilty or ashamed of what he did the answer was straight and frank "Its money buddy. One risk of fake certificate and i and earning what a 4year slogger earns. I have just decreased my effort by 2 years and increased bargaining power. Simple. And yes. If i change the company and i need more CTC i will change my own payslip. And mind you. The more they pay, the more they make you work."

It did not shock me. I had seen moany people with fake exprerience but what really surprised me was his frankness. Lets admit it. Its just money. Make hay when sun is shining. And right now the sun is shining.

Finally i got the answer to the question that had been hauntin me since in stepped in bangalore. "What does that creep have which i dont have to deserve such a pretty girlfriend?"

Answer is simple. Its money that matters honey!!!!

Got the point!

She was stroking her silky brown hairs and animatedly talking to a guy sitting beside her. She had fair complexion and beautiful dark eyes. The guy had muscular body but lacked in complexion. I could figure out they were kids from well to do family. The girl was conscious of my interest.

"Stop staring, bhaiya", chotu said in low voice. To be frank people have always misunderstood my observing to be staring. I could never really understand the difference. I looked at chotu. She was busy with her coke.I could not stop myself from having another glance at the girl. She seemed to be ordering something. Looking at the face of waiter i knew she had ordered everything that was available in the restaurant. What surprised me was that the guy was smiling ear to ear. But i guess he was more than happy to display his power of paisa to the girl and exhibit his love by getting her anything she would like to. "You started again. I am telling you that’s not good manners".

Now how do i explain chotu that appreciating the beauty of nature with looks is in itself an art ( boys master this easily). How i wished i was alone. Meanwhile our biryani was served. We had ordered for "Mutton biryani with extra meat" thinking it would be enough for two, but unfortunately it could easily fill 4 hungry stomachs. We both looked at each other knowing very well that we had a huge task on our hands.

"Mera project khatam ho gaya hai. Agle monday se exams shuru ho rahe hain..". I dont know what she was rumbling. I was busy practising my art. The table was filled with kababs, tandoori and chicken drumsticks. These kids from well to do family might have been hungry for decades i thought. Before they could finish the snacks, mutton biryani was placed on their table. "Aapko kya lagtha hai muje kya karna chahiye?" " Bhaiya ". I looked at chotu puzzeled. God knows what she was talking about. "Jo tumhe acha lage" i said. Felt proud for that smart answer.

For next 20 minutes chotu made sure i never glanced at that girl. She kept on bowling questions at me. Some how i managed to give another shot at that gal. But by now they were gone. All the food was on the table. I thought might be some emergency has forced them to abandon their food and leave. I was disappointed. "Parcel the remaining". Chotu was ordering the waiter. We paid our bill and came out of the restaurant.

As i tried to take my bike off from the parking i could see the same couple enjoying ice creams at the apposite icecream parlour. Some thing deep inside hurt me.

All the way during my ride i was thinking about this incident. How could two young and so called empowered youth waste such a huge amount of food. Yes they have paisa power but they dont have the right to waste food like that. There was no question of food being not tasty. Everybody in the hotel seemed to love the food there. It was getting to my head and i could already feel myself bit frustrated. "Chotu lets take a break." I said and stopped at next dabba angadi. As i lighted my faithful white stick i saw the parcel in chotu’s hand. This gal was also from a well to do family. She could afford anything in life. But she knew the value of food. And as a matter of fact she is one of the most matured girl I have come across.

Friends, how many of us have wasted food like that. On how many occasions have we ignored the basic rule of "Dont waste food" from anceint time. We break that rule with ignorance and most of the times with arrogance. Its a request. Please give a thought.

Few days back i had been to one of my friends wedding. While having the usual dinner i had this idea. Wedding day is one of the most memorable days in each and every persons life. So why dont we make it more special for ourselves and other less fortunate souls.

Here is the idea. As most of you might be planing about your wedding please include the small task of inviting little kids from your nearest orphanage. At least 10. You dont have to do anything speacial. Just invite them for dinner. In return you will get blessings from the little angels.

The above story is part fiction. I apologize for that. I have been writing facts and i am not ashamed today to use fiction to raise a point.

Got the point???

I want to be different

Everybody cherishes their school and college days and i am no exception. But my life at school was battle to differ from other fellow students and its still on. Only fellow students have been replaced by the world. I have done lot of things to be different and to be in lime light. It’s a quest worth mentioning here.

I joined KV 1 Hubli, in 6th standard. Earlier was in bellary KV. My name is good enough to qualify for a tongue twister and none were able to pronounce it correctly. That was my first step to be different ( well not exactly my own doing ). I always felt happy seeing people suffer pronouncing my name. But it was short lived. My class teacher renamed me Raama and it was the end of my first attempt at being different. Later i realised it was good to have a short and sweet name to avoid people creating their own versions of your name and embarassing you.

I was fortunate enough to be one of Lords of Last Bench whole of my school and college life. But again i was different and odd man in the group. While all the Last bench Lords suffered after-exam and result-time syndrome i was immune. I was not the most brilliant student but i was not poor either. I was above average.

The actual quest for being in limelight started in 8th standard. Every Wednesday we had PT in the first period. I wanted to be the first guy in the line. I tried my best to be jeetendra but failed. I gave up and every wednesday i became part of the group that handled drums. It was a tough competition but i managed. I liked the idea of whole school performing to my beats. I had the power and control to change the course of PT or so i thought. It was a great feeling. Later it became routine and i was more interested in sitting under tree shade rather than perform under the sun. So the plan was simple. Me and my group developed fever every Wednesday.

I also had the chance to lead school prayers. I enjoyed it a lot. "Savdhan" and "Vishram" were two command often useds along with others but again i felt a high whenever whole school performed at my commands. One bad day already whole school was in vishram state i uttered vishram and girls started giggling. That was it. I never again wanted to face the whole school in prayers. But again going back to stand in line for prayers was out of question. I made my way into prayer group. Spent another few months standing behind the people who had best voice in school and could sing. I was neither of them but a bit of influence works.

When that became boring and routine i joined Technical team. Handling mikes and other equipments. Once again the bad luck sought me out and all the equipments went dead. Reason. I had messed up cables. I was back leading prayers. But not for long. One of my friend wanted to lead and i was more than happy to let him.

One fine day, my house master came to me and said i will have to conduct quiz that day as the chosen person did not turn out. I thought i had another opportunity to be in lime light. I accepted and regret it till today. It was terrible mistake on my part. Quiz was scientific and there waslot of scientific jargon. Instead of pronouncing i started spelling them. Two questions and quiz was cancelled by principal. Didn’t go on stage for another two weeks.

Well eventually i achieved what i wanted. I was part of a English drama "The cobbler" for annual day (it was by chance ), participated in singing competition ( that’s what I thought but my good friends told me it sounded more of a elocution ), represented school in zonal athletics (never mind that our group didnt go to field at all), did gymnastics for sports day ( i was one of the stronger guys in school ), Played cricket, kabbadi and kho-kho for my house ( my house never made it to finals in any of these ) , contributed to school magazine ( poem on moon ) and a lot.


I may not have always been in limelight and been important. I might have failed terribly or might have succeeded. But what mattered was I never gave up creating a different identity. People recognized me. People knew RAM. That’s what matters.

I am still working towards that small goal of mine. I want to be different. I want to create my own identity.

Life gives you bricks. Its you who has to decide what you want to do with them. Build wall around yourselves or build bridges for others to pass by.